


We Could Steal Time Just For One Day

by orphan_account



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Real World, Anxiety, Asexual Character, Asexual Remus Lupin, Depression, Dysfunctional Family, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Slow Build, Slow Burn, Social Anxiety
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:21:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25851256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: It was late August 1976, annual Lupin family holiday in the south of France. Remus had grown to dread the extended amount of time inescapably stuck with his family, sharing a single shoddy hotel room with 5 cramped beds shoved in and a single tiny window that barely let in any air. He hated the weather almost as much as their company, sun holidays and swimming weren’t exactly his cup of tea.But then there was Sirius to hang out with, and that made everything a little less unbearable.
Relationships: Sirius Black & Remus Lupin, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 9
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

Remus felt the sun glaring down onto the back of his neck and hoped he had remembered to put on sun-cream that morning. He was pale as a ghost and wouldn’t be surprised if he got sunburnt on a cloudy day, let alone this 30° sweltering heat.  
It was late August 1976, annual Lupin family holiday in the south of France. Remus had grown to dread the extended amount of time inescapably stuck with his family, sharing a single shoddy hotel room with 5 cramped beds shoved in and a single tiny window that barely let in any air. He hated the weather almost as much as their company, sun holidays and swimming weren’t exactly his cup of tea.

  
Alas, here he was, laying precariously on a beach towel with a wall of personal belongings built around him (backpack, book stack, portable radio, shoes, anything to separate him from the family for even just a short while) back resting up against a large rock and his copy of Sylvia Plath’s ‘The Bell Jar’ in hand. He had not moved much from this position in the last two hours or so and his legs were asleep, numb and tingly whenever he shifted them around.

  
Just as he was thinking that it might be a good time to take a walk around to wake them up his youngest sister, Jennifer, appeared above him. She stepped partly over his wall with her sand covered feet, much to Remus’ dismay.

  
“I thought you would like this friend I found”, she smiled, dropping a sun-bleached crab carcass onto his chest.

  
Remus sighed and picked it up, turning it in his hand as he looked it over, “Don’t you think Dad would like this more than I would?”.  
Jenny’s head tilted like a confused puppy as she thought. She grabbed the crab back from her brother, causing a leg to snap off in the process. “I was just showing it to you! It’s for Dad!”.

  
With that she scrambled off as quickly as she had appeared. Remus fished around in his bag for a bookmark and tucked ‘The Bell Jar’ under his arm before standing up and stretching his legs. He was melting in his long-sleeved shirt and shorts and looked longingly at the cool blue ocean. His stomach twisted in knots as he thought about it a moment too long  
“Remus dear, will you go get us some drinks at the vending machine inside?”.  
Remus looked over at his mother, who was brushing sand out of his sister Diane’s hair, and nodded.

  
“Pass me a paper and pen then, dear, I know you’ve got just about everything one could ever need in that little enclosure of yours”.

The vending machine was only a ten-minute walk from their spot on the shore, but Remus decided to take the “scenic route”, which involved climbing up the large rock piles lining the back of the beach. He regretted this decision immediately when he slipped on some seaweed and tore open his knee on the stone. He winced in pain for a second before continuing on his quest for drinks.  
Remus looked down at his list as he approached the vending machine, reading what he needed to get. His mother’s handwriting was terribly similar to his own, neat and plain cursive with little “o”s dotting each “i”.

  
Two waters, two Fantas, one Sprite and then whatever Remus wanted. What did Remus want? Thoughts swirled around in his head for a moment as he struggled to make even such a simple decision. Then he looked up and realised he had walked past the vending machine, which was situated on a patio outside of a resort bar, under a canopy. He turned around and the hairs on his arms stood on end. There was someone else walking towards him from the direction he had just come from.

  
His eyes darted to the machine, which he was closer to, but he would look so stupid if he turned around right now. But he had already turned around, so turning back around again would surely be even worse. It probably wasn’t that big of a deal, but Remus’ right hand was already fidgeting and scratching at the knuckles of his left hand.

  
He stepped quickly towards the vending machine and he quickly found the drinks he needed, clumsily pushing the buttons on the panel. He hastily shoved his hand into his pocket to retrieve his coins to pay but spilled them all over the floor in his rush.

  
The other person had reached him at this point, evident as he appeared over Remus’ shoulder, watching coins roll in all directions.  
“Oh no! Here I’ll get those!”, the stranger said, rushing to pick up two franc coins that had landed at his feet.

  
Remus looked at him for a brief moment before scrambling to catch the rest of his money. The stranger was shorter than Remus by a few inches, but probably around the same age. He had long, shiny black hair, way too perfect for someone who had assumedly spent his morning on the beach. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, which revealed that he was almost as pale as Remus but not half as a lanky and awkward looking.

  
“Here you go, I hope that’s all of it”, the stranger said, holding Remus’ coins out in his hand.

  
Remus stared at the hand for a second, wondering if he could just run away now and escape the interaction. He reached out tentatively and picked them up, unable to avoid the contact. He looked up at the stranger’s face properly for the first time. His eyes were a warm inky grey and they held a soft sympathetic look, his other features sharp and angular in contrast.

  
“Um- “, Remus started, looking away and back towards the vending machine quickly, “Thank you, sorry for taking so long”.  
The other boy moved to the wall next to him and leaned against it, “That’s fine, I’m not in any rush”.

  
“I have, uh, quite a few things to get. I won’t drop anything else though, hopefully”, Remus attempted a smile as he punched in the codes for his drinks again and pushed coins in the slot.

  
The boy smiled back was quiet for a second. Remus took the silence as a chance to try fix his breathing, which was a little erratic, taking a deep breath in and out.

  
“I’m Sirius, by the way”.

  
Remus looked up from picking up the fourth drink on his list to reply, “Remus”.

  
“Ah, a fellow member of the weird name club” Sirius chuckled.

  
Remus couldn’t think of what to say in response, so he just looked back at what he was doing.

  
“Not that Remus is that strange of a name really, ah- that was probably a stupid thing to say”. Sirius seemed a little flustered for some reason, which meant Remus was completely failing at social interaction yet again.

  
“No, no, I don’t mind, sorry, I just- “, Remus struggled to pick up the fifth drink, the water for his mom, “sorry, I’m distracted”.

  
Sirius approached and looked down at all the drinks Remus was now struggling to carry, along with the book still tucked in alongside them.

  
“Do you need anything else? If you wait just a second for me to get mine, I’ll help you carry those”.

  
Remus’ brain paused for a bit to compute. This interaction had already escalated far beyond it should have and now it was extending even further. It’s not like he didn’t want to it to continue but the longer it went on the more likely it was Remus would something really weird and embarrass himself beyond redemption.

  
“Sure, if you don’t mind, we’re just ten minutes that way”, Remus nodded his head in the direction his family were in. He stepped back and let Sirius use the vending machine, after which he picked two drinks out of Remus’ arms and the two started walking back.

  
“Sorry you’re stuck with me now, Remus, I’ve been told I’m more than a little unbearable to be around”, Sirius said, that sympathetic look back in his eyes.

  
“Ah, I don’t think so, not so far anyway”, Remus insisted.

  
Sirius looked down at Remus’ arms and chest for a moment, seemingly studying him, which make Remus’ skin crawl. He didn’t like being looked at.

  
“So, what’s that you’re reading?”.


	2. Chapter 2

“Oh, it’s ‘The Bell Jar’, Sylvia Plath”, Remus replied as they walked.

“Plath? Isn’t that a little, well, depressing? To be reading at the beach anyway”, Sirius replied, his tone more light-hearted than judgemental.

“I guess…”, Remus mumbled, feeling self-conscious anyway. At least Sirius had heard of the book, he hadn’t been expecting that.   
It seemed Sirius had picked up on Remus’ social awkwardness at this point, from his short responses and avoidance of eye-contact, but it didn’t look like it was deterring him from continuing the conversation, albeit one-sidedly.   
“Reading all day on the beach does sound nice though, whatever book it is. However, my cousins would never let me have that much time in peace, they have an unquenchable need to torment me like we’re still six years old. I guess that’s why I’m taking my time going back to them and helping you instead”, Sirius smiled a genuine, soft smile, catching Remus a little off-guard, “You’re much more enjoyable company to keep”.

“My sisters are the same way, they actually are still six though, or just about. And, well, you just met me so I don’t think you can really judge the quality of my company yet” Remus retorted.

Sirius bumped his shoulder into Remus’ jovially, startling him. “Isn’t that exactly what I just told you about myself a minute ago? Anyways, I don’t believe you could have an annoying bone in your body, you’re exactly like a nervous little puppy!”.

Was that a compliment, Remus wondered, it didn’t really sound like one. This guy really had no filter on what he said, even to a complete stranger, which was a completely alien idea to Remus. He didn’t mind it, but it was a little confusing trying to figure out what he meant. The easy solution would be to ask, but Remus wasn’t much of an asker.

With the lull in conversation Remus felt some dull pain coming from his right leg. He stopped walking for a second and bent his knee towards himself to take a look, before immediately regretting this line of action as pain shot up from it.

“You’re bleeding!”, Sirius exclaimed.

“It would appear so”, Remus replied flatly. 

It wasn’t too much blood, but it was enough to look worrying from the outside. “Are you okay? What happened?”, Sirius asked, obviously concerned.

“Ah, I fell earlier on the rocks, I had forgotten”.

“How did you forget when there is blood pouring down your leg?”.

“I was distracted I guess”.

“Am I really that distracting?”, Sirius asked, half-smiling but still looking worried.

“Yes?”. Remus wasn’t sure what else there was to say, Sirius looked at him with a strange new expression, maybe realising just how weird Remus was. Remus patted away some of the red from his knee with the edge of his sleeve, “I’m fine to keep walking”. The two continued in silence for a few minutes.

“Uh, well, my family is right down there”, Remus said, gesturing in their direction, “so I can take the rest from here”.

“Really? I can spare a few more minutes, don’t want you dropping everything again and with your injury and all”, Sirius smiled that smile of his, oblivious to Remus’ attempt to avoid having to introduce his family and an awkward parting of ways.

“Oh, okay then”, Remus said, grimacing when Sirius wasn’t looking.  
Remus noticed Diane watching him like a hawk from her perch on a rock next to his mother as they approached. Little sisters were such strange entities. 

“This is us”, Remus said, dropping the contents of his arms onto a towel across the sand. 

“Who’s this then, dear?”, Remus’ mother asked from where she was sitting, unpacking lunch from a cooler, a very confused look on her face. Remus didn’t often interact with people he knew, let alone strangers, so Sirius’ presence was understandably surprising.

Sirius replied before Remus could figure out how to explain the situation. “Sirius Black, ma’am, Remus was having some trouble carrying all of his things, so I decided to help him out”.

“Ah, I see”, Remus’ mother looked at him with a question in her expression, but Remus wasn’t sure what the question was, so he just shrugged in response.

Sirius dropped the rest of Remus’ drinks next to the others before looking around a little. He waved up at Diane, still sitting strangely on her rock, looking like a dragon protecting her hoard (hoard of collected rocks, shells and various bits of seaweed, that was). Remus felt his chest growing tighter thinking about how strange his family was and how uncomfortable this whole situation was.

Sirius seemed like he was about to say his goodbyes when his eyes locked onto Remus’ wall of belongings. “Wow, you have a lot of books with you. Oh! Is that ‘The Left Hand of Darkness?’”.

As Sirius crouched down to take a closer look, Remus noticed the substantial dark bruise blooming across the other boy’s side and back, several shades of purple and green. Had he fallen climbing on the rocks too? It didn’t seem like a good time to ask. 

“I’ve wanted to read this for an age! My mother wouldn’t get it for me though”, Sirius picked up the book and turned it over to read the back. Remus could imagine a few reasons why someone wouldn’t want their child reading a book about ambisexual aliens. 

“You can borrow it if you’d like”, Remus offered, quickly realising that implied they would see each other again, not sure if he regretted that. 

“Really? I’d love that. How long will you be around here?”, Sirius turned back to Remus, noticing Remus had been somewhat staring at his side. He looked down at himself quickly and got up from his crouch, hiding the bruise from view, before looking back at Remus with a seemingly uncharacteristic shy smile.

“We’re leaving next Monday”. That was five days away. Sirius looked thoughtful for a moment.

“That’s perfect, I read pretty quick, so I’ll probably get through most of it tonight and tomorrow, anyways I’ll come find you when I’m done”.

“Alright”.

“Great”.

“Sounds good”.

Sirius stood looking at Remus with a smile before a light went off in his eyes and he realised it was time for him to leave. “Ah, okay, bye then, I’ll see you around!”.

“Yeah, thanks again for, uh, helping me out. I hope you like the book”. It was then Remus remembered all of the notes and highlighting he had put into that copy. Ugh, hopefully that wasn’t as pretentious and embarrassing as he thought it was. 

Sirius lingered for a moment and his hand wavered, as if he were considering if a handshake or hug was appropriate. Remus didn’t make a move to engage in either, so he settled on a wave in the end, before running off down the stretch of sand and disappearing into masses of other holidaymakers.

Well, that was certainly an interesting experience, Remus thought. 

“Are you bleeding dear?”, his mother asked, and with that Remus was back to normal life.


	3. Chapter 3

Remus spent the next day and a half sitting in the hotel room by a fan, making his way through the many books he had brought with him. He told his parents he was feeling unwell and even though they almost certainly saw through it, they let him be. 

He wondered a few times what Sirius was up to but didn’t dwell on it too long. He was trying to recharge his socialisation batteries after all, spiralling into obsessing over every stupid thing he did or said to a complete stranger. 

When the sun went down that evening and the air grew cool, Remus decided to venture out to find a nice spot to read. After a few minutes of looking he found a small alcove under a window nearby the bar for light but far enough away to not be disturbed by the noise.

He set about reading, stretching out his legs and leaning his back to the side wall. He took a pen out of his pocket and scribbled down notes every now and then.

He sat in that spot for a full half an hour uninterrupted. Then a sound of people nearby, laughing, began to grow steadily louder. Two figures passed by and Remus glanced up from his book briefly to look at them. At first, he thought he saw Sirius standing there but, no, it was two women. They did look a bit similar to him though, both with dark hair and angular faces, similar noses, but Remus figured his brain must be inventing connections that weren’t really there.

From nowhere a third figure came running, yelling after the other two, “Wait up you wretched hags, did you never learn about a thing called patience? I suppose it shouldn’t surprise me too much, knowing who raised you!”. That was, certainly, undeniably, Sirius Black. 

He paused his run for a moment to catch his breath and Remus contemplated saying something. Before he could even weight the options, Sirius looked up and right at him.  
“Remus!”.

“That’s me”, Remus replied with a tired smile.

Sirius quickly looked over at the two he had been yelling at, who had ignored him and continued walking. He looked back at Remus then and walked towards him. Remus began bracing himself for unexpected social interaction. 

“Sorry that you probably heard my screaming just now, I promise I’m not usually like that, only to my cousins which”, he nodded his head to the two, “that was them”. He looked a little embarrassed about the whole thing, but Remus wasn’t put off by it. 

“Don’t worry about it, I was just reading, all by my lonesome, as per usual”, Remus grimaced realising how sad that sounded. 

“Oh yes! Speaking of reading, I finished that book in one night, I was looking around for you yesterday, but you vanished off the face of the earth. It was marvellous anyhow, and also your notes were quite entertaining, I hope you don’t mind too much that I read them”.

Remus minded quite a bit, but it was too late for that now, he thought to himself. “I’m glad you liked it, I’ve read it a few times myself”, he smiled.

“I don’t have it on me to give back right now, I wasn’t really expecting to run into you. Tomorrow though! Don’t hide from me this time, okay?”.

“I wasn’t hiding- “, Remus started but was interrupted.

“Tomorrow it is then! For now, I’m heading to the bar with my cousins, I’d better hurry on before they forget I exist and abandon me, they have my room key”.

“Ah, okay, don’t miss me too much then”. Remus supposed going to the bar was what normal young adults did on holiday, rather than sitting creepily under a window reading.

Sirius looked up briefly, and then back, “You could always come with me if you’d like? My cousins aren’t really the best fun, so we could just ignore them for a few hours. I think they’d find that terribly annoying, which is hilarious”.

He really put on the puppy-dog eyes as Remus tried to find an excuse to refuse the offer. Not because he was against the idea of spending more time with Sirius, but because bars were loud and crowded, two things that did not agree with Remus.

“I haven’t any money on me”, he said, not needing to stretch the truth too far.

“Good! Wouldn’t want a repeat of the other day at the vending machine, would we?”, Sirius laughed while Remus’ face started to heat up in embarrassment. “But Remus, if you want me to buy you a drink you only have to ask”, he concluded. Remus could have sworn he winked then as well, but it could’ve been a trick of the light

“Um, well, I guess if that’s alright with you. I’ll be a bit awkward with my book and all though, won’t I?”. Sirius was proving impossibly good at dodging Remus’ attempts to get out of things. It was almost as if he actually wanted to hang out with him, ha!

Sirius looked around for a bit before pointing a planter on low windowsill. “Here, if you put it behind that then we shall retrieve it tomorrow after I give you back the other one, perfect!”. Remus did just that, somewhat begrudgingly. 

Much to Remus’ relief, the music in the bar wasn’t too loud, as it was still early in the evening. Remus did, however, feel very underdressed. He was wearing the same plain shorts and long-sleeved shirt he had been wearing all day. Sirius was not so casually dressed, in a loose light blue shirt and sleek black trousers. Discomfort was already brewing in the pit of his stomach as they found a table in the corner to sit down at.

“So, Mr. Lupin, what can I get for you this evening?”, Sirius asked, leaning on the table while Remus sat down.

“I’ll just have whatever you’re having”. Remus had definitely not drunk enough in his life to have any preference. “Wait, how do you know my last name?”.

“Hmm? You wrote it in the front of that book, “If lost return to Remus J. Lupin”, did you forget that was in there?”, Sirius replied, grinning, seemingly incredibly pleased with himself. Remus was once again very embarrassed by himself. He was glad Sirius found it amusing, though.

“Back in a bit then, don’t go disappearing on me or anything”, Sirius said, leaving Remus on his own. 

He looked down at his hands and realised how fidgety he was being. He placed his palms flat on the table firmly. “Just be normal for once, Remus, just this one time”, he muttered under his breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone wondering, Sirius and Remus are both 16, almost 17, in this. At the time, it was completely legal for 16 year olds to buy alcohol in France (Not the case anymore though).


	4. Chapter 4

Remus was staring thoughtlessly out of the window, into the ever-darkening evening, when Sirius returned. 

“For Mr. Lupin we have a- err, whatever this is!”, he announced, setting a bottle onto the table in front of Remus. Remus turned his head back to face the room, reminding himself that he was, in fact, awake, and not by himself in his room daydreaming. 

“And for the lady”, he continued, setting another bottle down and sitting down next to Remus, “I suppose that’s me, a lovely bottle of, well, the same thing. Sorry, despite my appearance, I am in fact not an academic, at least not to your level, Mr. I brought 50 books with me on holiday, and I don’t speak a word of French”.

Remus had come to realise that Sirius was a very gregarious and affectionate person and he supposed that it didn’t really matter much to Sirius who he was flirty with. It was obviously very amusing to him because he almost always had a grin plastered to his face. Remus found that quite endearing.

“J'en comprends mais je ne parle pas bien”, Remus said, studying his bottle in an attempt to decipher what it was. Descriptors for alcohol weren’t exactly on his vocab list for school.

“Of course you can speak French. I shouldn’t have even brought it up, you’ve just reminded me of my intellectual inferiority. What did you say, then? Telling me how devilishly handsome I look tonight, was it?”.

Remus had to laugh at that, he wasn’t sure he had ever seen someone self-deprecate and compliment themselves in the same breath before. “Something like that”, he smiled.

“Yeah?”, Sirius asked, raising an eyebrow but still grinning and taking a sip from his drink.

“I understand some, but I don’t speak very well, is what I said”, Remus responded, then, after thinking for a moment, continued, “C'est vrai de dire, tu es très beau ce soir”. It wasn’t untrue, Sirius suited the night-time very nicely, or maybe the night-time suited Sirius.

“And what’s that?”.

“You’ll have to look it up, I suppose”, Remus said smugly.

Sirius smiled and looked down at his bottle, “You’re not quite as clever as you think, I do know some French”.

“Oh”, was all Remus could manage in response, feeling his face getting warmer. He wasn’t really sure what was going on in his own head anymore. This was friendly flirting, wasn’t it? It felt real, in the way real things made Remus’ lungs stop working and his hands want to scratch his arms it pieces. But most social situations made him feel like that, so he was probably overthinking things as per usual.  
“You’ve a pretty interesting name, Remus J. Lupin, is there a story behind that? Mine’s pretty bizarre because my family wants everyone to know we’re awful pretentious, awful and pretentious even, from the moment we introduce ourselves”, Sirius said, seemingly unphased by any of the things Remus was busy worrying about.

“I don’t really know, no one has ever told me. My mum was pretty strange though, she probably picked it from a book”, Remus replied, taking a drink from his bottle, hoping it would calm his nerves.

“Was?”.

“Ah,”, Remus started, realising what he had said, “yes, I’m adopted. My birth mum died when I was little”.

Sirius looked at him for a moment and Remus felt like he was being examined. “I wouldn’t have been able to guess, you look just like your family, from what I saw the other day”.

“Mm, makes sense, my mother is my biological aunt”. Remus had had to explain this many times in his life, so while it wasn’t his favourite subject of conversation, he wasn’t upset by it either.

As time went on, the bar had begun to fill with people, mostly with tourists, all loud and boisterous. Remus would have usually found this level of noise unbearable, but his head was a little floaty as he finished his drink which was helping him to ignore it.

“God, I. Am. Boiling! I might just melt if I sit here too much longer”, Sirius exclaimed suddenly, standing up to study the window and clumsily fiddling with the latch. He opened it after struggling for much too long, but it could only open an inch.

“Is that your polite way of saying you are quite sick of me and wish to leave?”, Remus laughed, playing it off as a joke but half-wondering if it was true.

“No! Never! You’re brilliant, Remus, trust me, I would tell you if you weren’t, I’m not usually half as nice as I am to you”, Sirius rambled, “Here give me your hand”.

Before Remus could respond, Sirius had picked his hand up from the table and was pressing it to his forehead. If Remus hadn’t been blushing before, he certainly was now. Sirius was right though, he was a temperature Remus thought might be unnaturally warm, but he wasn’t exactly an expert.

“Um, er, maybe you’re sick from the sun, how long were you outside today? We should sit outside, it’s probably cooler out there”. Remus stumbled over his words, Sirius still holding onto his hand as he thought. 

“I didn’t know that was a thing, sun sickness. I was out all day”, his head tilted like a confused puppy as he looked at Remus, “Let’s go outside then, Remus”. He seemed to remember he was holding Remus’s hand as he stood up and dropped it.

“Outside is nice”, Remus said, heading towards the door, looking back to make sure Sirius was following. Sirius smiled at him when he saw him looking.

Remus kicked some leaves off of the edge of the tiled patio area outside and sat down, Sirius doing the same. It was far enough from the bar for them to be the only one’s around and for it to be much cooler than inside.

“Feeling any better now?”, Remus asked

“Much, much better, thank you”, Sirius replied, stretching his legs out then pulling them back in to his chest, leaning his head on his knees to look up at Remus. Remus leaned back so his hands were resting on the cold smooth tile behind him.

“It’s nice and quiet out here”.

“Not a big fan of a lively atmosphere, hm?”.

“Makes my head spin”, Remus said, looking down at his hands.

“You should have said something, I didn’t mean to make you stay”. Remus looked back at Sirius, who looked a little sad.

“It’s fine, you didn’t make me. And as we have previously established, you’re very distracting, which can definitely be a good thing”, Remus smiled, and Sirius smiled back at him. The two held eye-contact for an amount of time that was definitely too long.

“I really like you, Remus”, Sirius said.

“I like hanging out with you too”, Remus replied.

Sirius laughed and looked away, into the dark, at nothing in particular. “That’s not what I said”.

“Hmm?”. 

“I thought you were the smart one, and I’m the clueless idiot one”. Sirius reached out his arm and   
put his hand on Remus’ hand. 

Remus looked down at their hands, completely bewildered. He felt like his head should be spinning with thoughts, but it wasn’t, it was completely blank.

“Is that okay?”, Sirius asked, looking genuinely nervous for what must’ve been the first time since Remus had met him.

Remus had to think for a moment, finding it difficult to know what his answer was. He had definitely never prepared himself for this, he hadn’t even considered it as a possibility. Or maybe he had started to but shoved the thought away before he had time to really think it.

“It’s okay”, he said decidedly.

Sirius still looked uncharacteristically nervous, but he smiled and moved a little closer to Remus. Remus sat forward and pulled his knees close to his chest, mirroring Sirius. Sirius picked his hand up and held it in both of his. It was very warm and comforting, Remus thought. 

“You looked so adorable when I took your hand inside and I thought”, Sirius started, looking up from their hands to Remus, “I thought I might very much like to see that again”.

“Oh”, was all Remus could manage, now thinking about how his face looks and how stupid it must be. Sirius started chuckling at that.

“You’re so good, it all just makes me so unbearably happy”, he smiled brightly as he laughed, “and I- “.

He couldn’t finish his thought as he was interrupted by a sound from inside the bar.

“Sirius!”, it sounded like someone yelled. “Siriuuuuus, where are you hiding?”.

“Really? Right now?”, Sirius grumbled, dropping Remus’ hand and standing up quickly. He shoved his hands in his pockets, his face all dark and angry all of a sudden. It softened again when he looked back at Remus, “I’m so sorry, I’ve got to go. I’m sorry, I’m the worst, please don’t get murdered on your way back to your room, I’ll see you soon, I promise”.

And then he ran off towards the bar door, stopping as he got there and was met by the same two women Remus has seen earlier. That all felt like it had happened a million years ago now. He watched as they had some conversation at the door, until one of the two looked over in his direction. Sirius stepped in front of her quickly a led the two off in the opposite direction.

Remus was finally alone with his own thoughts and had no idea what to do. He buried his head in his knees for a while and replayed the last few hours over and over in his head before heading back to his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was definitely my favourite chapter to write so far so I hope you enjoyed it!


	5. Chapter 5

Remus spent far too long staring at himself in the mirror the next morning. He generally avoided thinking about what he looked like; it was a sure way to spiral into overwhelming self-hatred. Today he couldn’t bring himself to stop. He ran his fingers along his jaw, the lines under his eyes, the deep scars across his nose and forehead, through his mess of beige hair. After pondering it for a few moments he decided he looked half like an old man and half like an ugly baby. Certainly not attractive by anyone’s standards, right?

Remus didn’t even really know what attractive meant. He knew a beautiful person when he saw one, Sirius was certainly that, but attractive was a whole other can of worms he had never been able to open. He felt some kind of way about Sirius, it was just incredibly difficult to decipher what that was. And that was not even taking into account that he was a boy, that was a hundred other layers of complicated in itself. He didn’t not like Sirius, Remus thought that was a pretty safe way to put it.

He exhaled slowly and looked at his face again. All he could see was tired, sad, weird old Remus, same as always. Nothing had changed and yet everything was changing. He shook his head to disperse the thoughts, pulled on his shirt and brushed his teeth quickly before one of his impatient sisters tried to break down the door.

Remus spent about two hours attempting to read in his spot on the beach, but he was far too in his head, distracted by thoughts, to focus on the words in front of him. Maybe it was because he was so distracted but somehow, he found himself agreeing to let his two youngest sisters, Jenny and Diane, bury him in sand. His other sister, Florence, was going to join in too but was promptly preoccupied chasing some strangers dog up and down the strand.

It took about 20 minutes for the two small girls to completely cover Remus up to his neck in sand. It was pretty cold and heavy, but Remus found himself enjoying it somewhat. 

“We should find some crabs to put on his face!”, Diane exclaimed, patting down the sand by his arms. Jenny let out a squeal of a laugh and nodded furiously. As easily as that, the two scuttled off to hunt in rockpools. 

Remus tried to move his arms and legs but found himself markedly stuck. He let out a sigh and lay his head back in the sand. The sun was unbearably bright so the most he could do was squint hard and watch clouds pass by overhead. He decided on closing his eyes and trying very hard not to think about anything.

“Interesting outfit you’ve got on today”, a voice said, and Remus quickly opened his eyes. He could barely see with the light in his eyes but there, of course, was Sirius.

Remus tried to move his arms again and failed terrifically. “It’s a little restrictive but I find it’s worth it for the look. What do you think?”.

Sirius was standing right above him now, looking down. “I’m not sure it suits you, to be honest, I had you pegged as the kind of guy who dresses like an overworked English Lit professor. This is…. Interesting though”. 

“You wound me! I was only thinking this morning how much I look like an old man”, Remus said dejectedly. 

“Oh, poor old Remus, hm?”. Sirius crouched down next to him, now blocking the sun from Remus’ eyes, putting a hand on Remus’ cheek and feigning sympathy. “Can’t even see a compliment when he’s being given one. And who said anything about old? I’m sure I’ve seen some dashing young professors in my days, overworked or no”. 

“I’m sure I would hit you if I had use of my arms right now”, Remus grumbled, although he didn’t mean it, he was trying to distract himself from the way his chest fluttered when Sirius’ hand touched his face.

Sirius grinned wickedly at that, for some reason. “You would probably be right to”, Sirius said, standing up, “If not for this then for some other questionable thing I’ve done. I’m a rather questionable lad, it seems”.

“I’m really stuck here, you know”, Remus said after a moment. Sirius just looked down at him, still grinning.

“And don’t I just have the greatest view because of it! And no falling over or dropping of many things to worry about!”.

“You really are questionable; you’re loving watching me suffer here with the bloody sun directly in my eyes, aren’t you?”. Remus must have looked too serious in his play-upsetness because Sirius’ smile dropped instantly, looking a little hurt, even.

“No, no, of course not. Here, I was going to help you up in just a minute”. Sirius crouched back down and started pushing sand off of Remus’ shoulders. “I’m guessing the sisters of yours I saw the other day did this. And then got bored and left you, something like that?”.

“They’re off collecting crabs to put on my face, I think”. Remus looked off in the direction they had run but saw no sign of them. “They’re a bit chaotic”.

“Yeah, I could tell, one of them was staring daggers at me. Little girls must have a sixth sense for alluring demons-in-disguise”. Sirius smiled but there was something a bit sad in his eyes.

“I would be very surprised if that’s what you turned out to be, you’re not half subtle enough”.

“I’m glad you don’t think that”. Sirius didn’t look at Remus then, looking away and starting to shovel sand off of his chest.

Remus could see that Sirius had been nervous about talking to him, which was unexpected to him. The other boy had seemed fairly sure of himself before, it made Remus wonder if something like this had gone very wrong for him in the past. He knew it wasn’t the right time to ask about something like that.

“I think I can get up now”. Remus stretched his shoulders and sand started falling away from his arms. He sat up with a little effort and started pushing sand from his legs. “There, free at last”, he said, stretching out his arms and pulling his knees towards himself.

“Good job! Strong man you are after all!”, Sirius laughed. Remus glared at him. That’s when Sirius tackled him with a hug and Remus’ heart stopped for at least 10 seconds.

“Ahh!”, Remus yelped in surprise. Sirius was laughing away to himself. Remus tried very hard not to fall backwards but Sirius was much heavier than the sisters he was used to climbing all over him. “Ow! That hurt”, he whined as his head hit the sand.

“Sorry, sorry!”. Sirius still had his arms wrapped around Remus’ back and Remus could feel him laughing against his chest.

“Hey, who unburied Moony!”, shouted a small voice behind them. Sirius finally got off of Remus and turned around to see Jenny there, arms full of dead crabs and seaweed. 

“Hm, that would have been me, he begged me to rescue him”, Sirius answered nonchalantly.

Jenny pouted and dropped the contents of her arms onto the ground. 

“To be fair, you did abandon me here, Jen, it’s not the most fun to just lie still waiting for crabs to be dropped on your head”.

“Yes, poor- Moony was it?”, Sirius started, looking at Remus quickly with a smile and a raised eyebrow, “he looked terribly sad stuck in the sand, so I had to take pity on him. And I’m afraid I’ll have to be stealing him away for a while as well”.

Jenny looked at Sirius with a scrutinising eye. “You were just attacking him, why would he want to go anywhere with you?”.

“Attacking- Oh! No, no, I was helping him get the sand off of his clothes, that’s all”. Sirius was surprisingly good at dealing with the nonsense that was talking to a six-year-old. He turned back to Remus briefly, “Didn’t think to take the shirt off before covering yourself in sand? I don’t think you’ll ever get that out”.

“I thought about it”, was all Remus had to say to that.

“Anyways, we must be going now”. Sirius stood up and brushed sand off of himself. “Right Remus?”, he asked, offering a hand to Remus to help him up. Remus took it and stood up for the first time in almost an hour.

“If mum asks where I am you can tell her I’m having a walk around, that okay Jenny? I’m sure Diane will play with you if you ask nicely, although I haven’t a clue where she’s gone”, Remus said, looking around.

“Okay. See you later Moony, you can have one of my crabs to take with you if you’d like”.

Remus looked down at the crabs and was glad they were all already dead and not being tortured by his sister. “I’ll pass on that one, Jen”.


	6. Chapter 6

Remus kept trying to shake sand out of his sleeves as he followed Sirius, to little result. After a while Sirius seemed to notice him flapping his arms around wildly and stopped to turn around and watch him.

“You alright there Remus?”.

“It feels like my clothes are made of sand”.

“Need some help, maybe if you rolled up your sleeves- “, Sirius started, reaching out towards Remus. 

Remus stepped back quickly and furrowed his eyebrows, “No, it’s fine, once it dries in the sun it will unstick itself. Just, never mind”.

Sirius looked at him, eyes full of worry and that same nervousness from earlier. “What’s the matter?”.

Remus didn’t like how much he seemed to be worrying Sirius, He looked around; they were still in the middle of a beach full of people. “Nothing, sorry, let’s go”.

“Okay, let’s go pick up your book from last night”, Sirius said, starting to walk in that direction. He looked back at Remus and he stepped up to walk in stride with him.

When they got there Remus pulled his book out from behind the planter and turned it over in his hands. It appeared undamaged, if a little dusty.

“Want to sit for a bit?”, Sirius asked, gesturing towards the alcove Remus had been sitting when they had met the previous night.

Remus nodded and the two sat down, side by side. There was quiet for a moment as they both tried to figure out what to say.

“Um- “. It was Sirius who spoke first, “I’m sorry about last night, I really shouldn’t have done that, I wasn’t thinking and I’m always so bloody impulsive. It gets me in more trouble than you can imagine”. He looked down at his knees sullenly.

Remus’ chest felt fluttery again thinking about it. “I, um, I said it was alright, didn’t I?”.

Sirius looked back up at him, searching for something in his face, Remus wasn’t sure exactly what. “Of course you’d say that, just go along with whatever, you’re probably terrified of me.”

“I’m not!”, Remus said emphatically, “I told you only 20 minutes ago that I don’t feel that way”.

“But just now- “.

Remus realised the root of the confusion just then. “Ahh, no no no!”, he mumbled, covering his face in his hands. “That’s not what that was, I swear”. Why did he have to be like this, he wondered, everything was convoluted enough without his anxious brain getting in the way.

“I’m so confused”, Sirius said, frankly. 

“I don’t mind when you- It’s just my arms…”, Remus said, now noticeably quieter, half hoping Sirius wouldn’t hear him.

“What about them?”, Sirius asked, his voice gentle now, matching Remus’ volume. He reached over and softly touched the back of his hand to Remus’ upper arm, a partially successful attempt to comfort him.

Remus was quiet for a while.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to”, Sirius said softly.

Remus felt a little better hearing that He finally picked up his now slightly trembling right arm and tugged a little on the edge of his sleeve with his left. He let out a shaky sigh, “I just have a lot of scars, like on my face but, well, more. And other ones too, that I- uh, I did myself. When I was younger, not anymore”. 

“Mm, I see”, was all that Sirius said. Remus couldn’t bring himself to look at him to see what expression he had.

Sirius started to get up from sitting and Remus thought he might be leaving. Instead he sat back down on his knees, facing Remus, and leaned in over him. He seemed to hesitate for a moment, then wrapped his arms around the other boy’s shoulders, their cheeks brushing as he rested his face next to Remus’.

“I wouldn’t ever think anything bad of you for something like that, I just want you to know. And you must have caught on by now that I think you are ridiculously gorgeous”, Sirius whispered, right next to Remus’ ear, which made his face very warm all of a sudden. He was sure Sirius would be able to feel that, with how close he was, making him even redder with embarrassment.

“I’m just self-conscious about it”, Remus mumbled. 

“That’s okay”, Sirius said, into Remus’ shoulder. Remus could feel his breath on his neck and there was something nice about that, reassuring in a way. 

Remus tentatively shifted towards Sirius and put one arm around his waist, then the other. Then he moved his head, so his forehead was leaning on Sirius’ shoulder and closed his eyes. “Just so you know, this is definitely okay, this is good”, he said. It was true, Remus’ arms had already stopped shaking and his thoughts weren’t spinning.

“Sure you’re not scared of me?”.

“I’m much less scared of you than I usually am of people, actually”, which was something Remus had been thinking about that morning while looking in the mirror and contemplating his entire existence.

Sirius sighed and nuzzled his shoulder. His soft hair was cool against Remus’ neck. “You make me so nervous”.

“I can’t imagine being intimidating, I’m less than harmless, I absorb nerves”.

“You’re hard to read. I’m not used to that”.

“Well you haven’t known me very long”. Sirius didn’t say anything to that.

“Sorry that I make you nervous”, Remus offered.

Sirius chuckled, “It’s alright, keeps me on my toes. Makes me want to be a little daring if anything”.

“You don’t seem like you really need encouragement in that area”.

“Maybe you’re right”, said Sirius, still laughing.

Sirius moved to untangle himself from Remus, which made Remus feel something like sad. He lifted his head from Sirius’ shoulder and there was the other boys face, right in front of his own. Without any thought at all he found himself pressing a chaste kiss onto Sirius’ cheek.

He moved away quickly, surprised by himself. Sirius seemed to freeze, eyes widening, looking Remus dead in the eyes.

“I don’t really know why I did that”, Remus said, accidentally thinking out loud. His face was certainly flushed, from confusion and shyness and Sirius’ warmth.

Sirius’s surprise melted into an endeared smile at that, “Oh Remus, you are what one might call an enigma”. His hand found its way to Remus’ face where it held his cheek, thumb tracing his jaw. He leaned up while pushing Remus’ face down, kissing his forehead softly. Remus felt inexplicably happy for that brief moment.

“C’mon then”, Sirius said, moving away as quickly as he had moved closer, then getting to his feet and stretching his arms out above his head, “Let’s go cool off before you melt into a Remus-shaped puddle”.

The sudden change in atmosphere left Remus a little disorientated but he followed anyways.

Sirius’ idea of cooling off seemed to involve the ocean, Remus realized as they headed back along the beach. Remus hadn’t actually been in the water much, somehow, other than chasing his sisters around for a few hours on the day they arrived.

“You okay to go in a bit?”, Sirius asked as they approached the waves.

“Yeah, I don’t swim very well though”.

“I’ll save you if you need, don’t worry”, Sirius said, grinning slyly. He strode into the water a few paces, until it reached his waist.

“I’m sure you would”. Remus followed him in, the harsh cold of the water hitting him, but he pushed on knowing he would get used to it quickly. “Hm, maybe I can wash off some of this sand”, he said, looking down at his shirt.

“Here, I’ll help”, Sirius laughed, kicking water towards Remus.

“Hey!”, Remus whined jokingly before splashing Sirius back.

“Okay, I’ll help you, really this time”, Sirius chuckled, raising his arms in surrender. He waded over and scooped some water up in his hands then poured is over Remus’ arm. Remus shivered at the cold, but the beaming sun warmed him quickly. Sirius continued like that for a minute or so.

“You really shouldn’t be so trusting Remus”.

“What do you mean?”.

“Well you just took it at face value that I was helping you out, but here I am having a grand old time feeling you up”, Sirius smirked.

Remus blushed and tried to play it off with a pout, “Didn’t get enough of that already today?”.

“Not by half”, Sirius remarked, his hand travelling down from Remus’ shoulder, along his chest, to his stomach.

“What are you- “, Remus started but was interrupted by Sirius giving him a firm shove backwards, just hard enough to send him stumbling. What Sirius was not expecting was for Remus to grab onto his arm on his way down, sending the two crashing into the water.

Remus flailed under the waves for a moment, Sirius now the way of him standing back up.

When he finally broke the surface and saw Sirius kneeling in the water, laughing uncontrollably, he gave him a soft kick in the chest. “You bastard!”, he yelled, but he was laughing too.

Sirius managed only a few words between laughing. “I can’t breathe, that was too good, I really got you!”.

“If you tell me you need mouth-to-mouth next, I might actually drown you myself!”, Remus exclaimed, slowly getting back to his feet.

Sirius smiled and raised an eyebrow at that, his laughing subsiding, “Hm, didn’t take you for the dominant type, Remus”.

Remus glowered down at him but in his head he was thinking that this was the most fun he had had in a long, long time.


	7. Chapter 7

Remus and Sirius spent most of the morning and afternoon together, swimming, running along the beach, chasing each other with crabs or slimy seaweed. They lay on the sand for a while, side by side, not even talking.

Eventually Sirius looked up and squinted questioningly at the sun before looking back to Remus. “I best get going, I’ve got a family dinner to go to and I have to dress up all posh and I might be murdered if I show up covered in sand”.

“I guess I should probably head back to my sisters too, they might kill each other without my calming aura to sooth them”, Remus replied, but didn’t make a move to get up. 

Sirius stood, shook some sand from his hair, and just looked out at the water for a moment. He looked back at Remus abruptly, “Will you be out reading again tonight? I’m not sure if I’ll be able to escape dinner but maybe I could slip out when everyone’s got some wine in them”.

Remus hadn’t planned to go out again, but he supposed there was no reason not to, and now one reason he should. “Sure, the same spot as last night I suppose”.

Sirius smiled. “Great! Well, if I can escape, that is. Don’t wait too long, if I’m not around by ten you’ll know I am helplessly trapped, or possibly dead if I say something stupid about Bella’s hair. I do try not to anymore but I’m dreadfully honest and she hasn’t brushed it in at least a year”.

Remus smiled but was growingly more concerned about Sirius’ family as he continued to frequently joke about them murdering him. “Don’t get killed over silly old me”.

“I would rather be killed for trying to go see you than for commenting on my cousin’s hair”, Sirius said, “but I really must get going now, hopefully see you later”. He waved and then ran off, leaving Remus to his own devices.

For as used to being alone as Remus was, he was having a tough time of it. He felt ridiculous for missing someone he had barely known for four days. He thought about going back to sit near his family, but he didn’t feel like being around them. Instead he curled up between some rocks and started reading the book he had retrieved that morning.

About an hour later he started feeling very hungry and realised he hadn’t eaten since breakfast. He couldn’t avoid going back for much longer, so we walked along the beach glumly until he found himself being attacked by two small beasts.

“Moony!”

“Remus!”

Remus patted both of the small girls on the tops of their heads, attempting to pry them off of himself gently. “Hullo, I have returned for food”.

“Where’s your scary friend?”, Jenny asked, looking up at him.

“Scary? He’s not scary, is he?”, Remus asked, smiling down at her.

“Not really, he’s just big, or, tall I mean”, Jenny said.

“I didn’t think he was scary”, Diane said matter-of-factly.

“He’s not even as tall as me, no need to be scared of him, Jen. Anyways, like I said, I need food”.

“Mum said we’d have dinner soon, she’s over there”, Diane pointed to where Remus had left them that morning.

He wandered over, two shadows now unwilling to let him out of their sight. His mother was laying back on a beach towel, reading some gossip magazine, with his other sister, Florence, building a lopsided sandcastle by her legs. 

“Hello, dear, what’ve you been up to all morning?”.

Remus had prepared his answers on the walk over. “Reading mostly, and I ran into Sirius again, he’s the one you met the other day”.

His mother raised an eyebrow of that but went back to reading her magazine. “Dad’s thinking fish and chips for dinner, that alright?”.

Remus smiled, relieved she wasn’t in a questioning mood. “Sounds good, Mum”.

Eventually Remus’ father appeared, carrying a large brown paper bag filled with food and they all sat around on beach towels and ate. Remus had always thought they all got along best when they were eating, and it was true in this moment. At one point, Jennifer asked if crabs would like chips and Remus and his parents shared a laugh.

After dinner they started to pack up their things, the sun getting lower in the sky. Remus told his parents he was going to read somewhere again, and they waved him off without a question.

He settled into his alcove again, knees pulled up to his chest and book in his hand. It was about eight o’clock when he arrived and by nine, he was almost finished his book. He started reading over parts he had liked and writing notes in the margins to pass the time. 

It was getting close to ten and Remus was thinking about heading to bed when Sirius poked his head around the corner of the wall. He was dressed like he had just run out of some very formal event, shirt buttoned up all the way and tie properly tied.

“Hullo there, Remus”, he smiled, a little meeker than his usual boisterous self.

“You escaped then?”, Remus said, returning the smile and moving over so there was room for Sirius to sit next to him. 

Sirius took that as an invitation and sat, looking down and away as he replied. “Just about”.

Now that he was closer Remus noticed something different about Sirius’ face, a red mark on his cheek, something like a bruise just forming. His mind flicked back to the marks on his side that he had seen on Sirius’ side the day they had met.

“Sirius what hap- “, he started but was cut off by Sirius plucking the book out of his hands.

“Maybe,” Sirius said, closing the book and putting it to his side, “Maybe we don’t talk about it”.

Remus didn’t want to argue with that. There were a lot of things he would have liked to talk about with Sirius, but he was leaving the day after tomorrow, and it seemed very futile to even try ask anything important. It still didn’t make it easy to not ask.

“Okay. You’re not going to be in trouble for being here, though?”, Remus asked, quietly.

Sirius leaned his head on Remus’ shoulder, and he felt heavy, like he must be very tired. “No, everyone thinks I’m in bed, they won’t notice”.

“Good”, was all Remus could think to say, resting his chin on the top of Sirius’ head. His hair was soft and he was warm, it still felt like Sirius, just a sad Sirius. 

“Why is the mood so glum?”, Sirius grumbled, “I don’t like it”.

“Sorry”. Remus tried to think of something less glum to say but couldn’t come up with much. “My sister said you were scary. Thinks you’re too tall, she said”.

Sirius chuckled quietly, which made Remus feel a bit better. “Tall? I hardly am, although I suppose to a small child I might be. Which one was it, the eagle-eyed one or the grabby one?”.

“The grabby one”, Remus smiled even though no one could see, “There’s another one, you know. Sister, that is, Florrie, I would say she’s the skittish one”.

“Mmm, most like you then”.

“Ouch, yeah, I suppose”.

“You got over that pretty quickly though, hmm? Unless you’re just hiding it better now?”.

Remus thought about it and realised he really wasn’t feeling very anxious around Sirius anymore. “I feel comfortable with you, I suppose, doesn’t usually work out like this”.

“I am decidedly magical, then. Good to have some quantifiable proof”. Sirius’ hand crept across Remus’ leg to where his hand was resting, and he picked it up and moved it to his own knee.

“Very magic”, Remus said quietly, his chest full of happy butterflies. They sat quietly for a while. Remus liked the silences he shared with Sirius a lot, he thought.

“Remus?”, Sirius whispered.

“Yes?”.

“You don’t have to answer but- “, he began. Remus had an idea of what Sirius was going to ask and his stomach twisted a bit.

“Are you, er, gay?”.

“Hmm”, was how Remus responded to start. This is exactly the kind of thing he had decided he wasn’t going to ask Sirius about. 

Sirius’ hand tightened around his, which was a bit reassuring. “I’m not sure really. I’ve never, um, “, he had to pause to think about how best to put it, “I’ve never liked girls before, but I don’t think I’ve liked boys either. You’re maybe the only person I’ve ever felt any sort of way about”. That was about as much as he had been able to figure out over the past few days, it didn’t seem like much. 

“I see. I’m super magical then”, Sirius said, which made Remus smile and the tightness in his chest dissipated some. 

“You really are”, Remus said, intertwining his fingers with Sirius.

“Aren’t you going to ask me then?”.

“I figure that you’d just say it if you wanted to”, Remus replied.

“Well”, Sirius lifted Remus’ hand up to his mouth and pressed a kiss onto the other boy’s knuckles, “I am definitely very gay”.

Warmth spread across Remus’ chest and he knew he was definitely blushing, which was confirmed when Sirius looked up at him and started laughing. “You’re such a girl, Remus. It’s incredibly endearing”.

“I don’t think that’s how being gay works”, Remus remarked, turning his head to hide his red face.

“Oh, shut up, you”, Sirius said, stretching up to kiss Remus’ jaw, then his cheek, then he couldn’t reach any more without moving so he nestled his head back onto Remus’ shoulder. “You’re all warm now, just as I planned.”

Remus was, indeed, very warm, and incredibly happy. He untangled his hand from Sirius’ and wrapped his hand around his waist instead, pulling him closer.

“Oh no, I’m definitely going to fall asleep like this”, he heard Sirius mumble.

“That’s fine by me”.

“I’ll be killed”.

“Well, I actually believe that now”.

Sirius grumbled something unintelligible into his shoulder. 

“Maybe you should go back”, Remus suggested, although he really didn’t want him to.

“Soon, not yet”. Sirius sat up suddenly then, almost knocking Remus backwards, “I AM AWAKE. Oops, sorry there Remus”.

“S’okay”, Remus mumbled, rubbing the back of his head which had hit the wall.

“Here, I’ll kiss it better”, Sirius grinned, and then Sirius was awfully close all of a sudden, “If you’d like?”.

“Erm, I think I would”, Remus just about managed before Sirius was kissing him.

Remus felt Sirius smiling against his mouth and his chest bubbled with a new kind of nervous-excitedness. Sirius kissed him soft and slow, which is not really what Remus had expected from Sirius, but maybe he was being considerate of Remus and his “girl”-ness, as he had called it. Sirius had his hands on either side of his face, thumb tracing his jaw. Remus had one arm still around Sirius’ waist, holding him steady, the other in his hair, which Remus had decided he really loved. 

Sirius pulled away for a moment, looking Remus over, a sleepy but overly pleased smile plastered on his face. “Better?”, he asked.

“Much better”, Remus smiled shyly. 

One of Sirius’ hands moved to the back of Remus’ neck and he pulled him a little further down. Then he trailed kisses up along Remus’ jaw, up his cheek, to his temple. Remus had an overwhelming urge to wrap his arms around him and never let go.

“I think I best go”, Sirius whispered next to Remus’ ear.

“I wish you wouldn’t”, Remus mumbled.

“I wish I wouldn’t too”, Sirius said, now in front of Remus, smiling sadly. “C’mon I’ll walk you part of the way. And I’ll hold your hand and all, like the gentleman I am”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a bit longer to upload than the last few chapters, I've been super busy the last few days. This fic should be 9 or 10 chapters total but there will (hopefully) be a continuation/sequel that I've actually been more excited to write than for this!

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fic I've attempted writing in four of five years so I hope it is turning out okay! I'd love to hear any and all feedback, if you're enjoying and want to read more etc.! If I keep writing this (hopefully I will but motivation is difficult to chase sometimes) then I'll see you all in the next chapter.


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